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Return Engagement
}} The Oracle's contingency plan comes into effect, and Roy discovers that the Oracle can see and hear him. Cast * Roy Greenhilt (as spirit) ◀ ▶ * The Oracle of the Sunken Valley ◀ ▶ * A Troglodyte Wizard * A Troglodyte Cleric Transcript Roy: Goddamn it, this is such a waste. Roy: I swear, when I get physical hands back, I am going to take that little runt and— Two Trogolodytes teleport in with a "POP!" Roy: What the—? Troglodyte Wizard: -port! Troglodyte Cleric: My word, we've arrived not a moment too soon, I see. Troglodyte Wizard: Quite! Shall we get on with the work at hand, Brother? Troglodyte Cleric: Indeed. Troglodyte Cleric: Raise Dead! Oracle: *gasp!* Roy: Hey! Over here! Pick me! Oracle: Oh, man! That one stung a bit. Oracle: I think he dulls his daggers, so they hurt more going in. Troglodyte Cleric: Welcome back, sir. Oracle: Good to be back, guys. Oracle: Sorry about the mess, I should have remembered to tell you to wear galoshes... Troglodyte Wizard: Are we still scheduled to raise you again on March 26, 1187? Oracle: Yup, 3:10 pm. Oracle: And be ready for a Resurrection spell next time... it's gonna be this big druid guy who's gonna chew me up into tiny pieces when I tell him him yes, his wife is cheating on him, and the other man is his animal companion. Oracle: Turns out that giving enhanced intelligence to a critter who is literally hung like a bear doesn't always work out the way you'd expect. Troglodyte Cleric: And with that, we must retire. Troglodyte Cleric: Good day! Oracle: Say hello to your boss for me! Troglodyte Wizard: We shall. Tele— Roy: Stupid minor NPC can get raised and I can't... The two troglodytes teleport away with a "POP!" Oracle: Well, looks like I better start getting that Expert level back. Oracle: XP don't earn itself, my mama always said. The Oracle turns and talks directly to Roy. Oracle: —who may have been a bit portly as a result of a glandular condition, but at least she didn't whore up the whole afterlife when she died. Roy: Hey, my mother— beat Roy: YOU CAN HEAR ME?? Oracle: Yes, so you don't have to yell. Geez. D&D Context * Teleport is a 5th level wizard spell that allows instantaneous teleportation over arbitrary distances within the same plane of existance. * Raise Dead is a 5th level cleric spell that resurrects a dead creature so long as the body is still intact. When raised, the creature has only one hit point per hit dice, and loses one level, hence why the Oracle immediately seeks to gain XP to earn back the level he lost. Note that in the fourth panel the cleric holds the material component for this spell, a diamond worth 5,000 gp. ** Raise Dead wouldn't actually have worked on Roy, because the spell requires the body to be there and intact. Also, Roy has probably been dead longer than the troglodyte cleric's magic can allow. * Resurrection is a 7th level cleric spell which restores a creature to life with full hit points, though they still lose one level. * Expert is an NPC class, apparently the class of the Oracle of the Sunken Valley. Experts gain Skills with new levels. Trivia * Roy's Mom indulges in lots of afterlife sex in #495 among others. * Roy had previously made a series of jokes concerning the Oracle's mother in #566, including a fat joke. External Links * 571}} View the comic * 83987}} View the discussion thread Category:Uses Teleport Category:Uses Raise Dead Category:Return to the Oracle